I'm lonely, frustrated, heart-broken! 
My husband's a golfer, no jokin'

If he doesn't stop
Then I'll blow my top!

Last birthday got a golf tee for a token!

To give up his golf clubs, he wouldn't!
I begged but he says he "just couldn't!"

He 'putts' in the house
I'm a golf-widow spouse

To marry a golfer, you shouldn't!"

For a wedding gift bought me a 'driver'
And a golf book that I can't decipher!

For our honeymoon spent
At the golf course we went!

My 'golf-groom' and I his 'new brider!'

His golf games are making me stutter
Just yesterday bought a new putter!

My mom she once said,
A golfer don't wed!

Why didn't I listen to mother!

My husband says I should not worry
Loves me more than bogies and birdies

But I'm filled with remorse
How I hate that golf course

I'm neglected, I'm mean, and I'm surly!

He talks of each par and I listen
'Bout each golf stroke that he says I'm missin'!

Dreams of drivers and woods
Honey that can't be good!

He shines all his irons 'til they glisten!

Oh it's gonna be much to his sorrow
'Coz I'm having a yard sale tomorrow

Mark 'em half price you see
But the golf bag, that's free

His new golf cart oh yes sir, that's gonna go!

Now my husband has taken up fishin'
And I'm sad and heart-broken and wishin'

That for once when I wake
He wasn't up at that lake

A bonfire will be my next mission!

All fishin' poles, bait and all tackle
Gonna burn, oh I can't help but cackle!

I can just hear his cries
I know that he'll be surprised

When I set them ablaze, how they'll crackle!

Oh I'm lonely and sad and heart-broken
'Coz he's taken up huntin', no jokin'!

Cooked another dead bird
Talk of camp, all I've heard

And on camouflage gear I am chokin'!

Now the end to the story, heart breakin'
For my husband was oh plenty shaken

Just too sad for to tell
But husbands, you listen well

Beware of a woman forsaken!
 
 

Author - Poem written by:
Tammy Boatman-Young
Dec. 2007